Keep on the look out for Nicolas Cage bc Tim Howard is our national treasure
SALVADOR, Brazil —
Brazil wasn’t what I had expected. I’ve been here three weeks now, covering the United States men’s national team across this vast and diverse country, and I’m still not quite sure what to make of it.
The image was strikingly similar to that of the country where I covered the last World Cup, South Africa: A shambolic government that couldn’t get anything done by a deadline, inflicting crippling poverty lived in rambling shantytowns, in a country ruled only by lawlessness. But as it was in South Africa, most construction in Brazil has been completed, or at least looked the part, and I’ve never once felt unsafe.
Sao Paulo, where the United States and its press corps have been based, is a confusing place. There is no containing its sprawl, all of it infested with boxy apartment towers — invariably with terraces adorned with flapping Brazilian flags — pricking the blue sky. The traffic is soul-crushing. On a bad day, you can average less than five miles an hour in your cab or bus. Some days, early in our stay, the subway workers were on strike and it was worse still and you just stood there, thousands of running cars frozen in place.
Hungry for another World Cup recap? Chew on this:— FOX Sports Live (@FOXSportsLive)June 24, 2014
Suarez’s third career bite for club and country was obviously THE viral story of the day, so we’re going to start with “the ugly” and save the
bestgood for last. Bon appetit!
Suarez is making a habit of snacking on his opponents (is human flesh really that tasty? Is the joke on us?). The Liverpool star was suspended ten Premier League games for biting Chelsea’s Branislav Ivanovic last season, and 7 games by the Dutch league for munching on PSV’s Ottman Bakkal in 2010 while at Ajax.
On Tuesday, Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini became Vampire Suarez’s latest victim. Note the bite mark on Chiellini’s shoulder in the picture above. The referee did not see it, so no foul was called, but the rest of the world’s population did and responded accordingly:
SUAREZ BITE. THIS WORLD CUP HAS EVERYTHING— Men in Blazers (@MenInBlazers)June 24, 2014
Suarez going with the ‘if you can’t beat them eat them’ approach.— Sydney Leroux (@sydneyleroux)June 24, 2014
I guess any part of the body is up for eating.— Evander Holyfield (@holyfield)June 24, 2014
The whole biting thing. I just don’t get it. This is a conversation for a 3 year old, not a grown man repeatedly. #Suarez— Julie Foudy (@JulieFoudy)June 24, 2014
Suarez is an absolute disgrace sorry. Biting players is gross and against everything about the game. Talent for sure but no thanks. #URU— Taylor Twellman (@TaylorTwellman)June 24, 2014
Tell me Suarez didn’t eat someone….was the hero a couple a days ago….— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5)June 24, 2014
So glad we don’t have a biter in the women’s game. #ouch— Alex Morgan (@alexmorgan13)June 24, 2014
When the incident first happened, we weren’t exactly sure if Suarez seriously did it again. Good thing we have video replay now:
All the proof I need. pic.twitter.com/rqIVc5V6Ye— Red PierreEmilery (@redrobbery)June 24, 2014
Yup. He really did it. For a THIRD time. Which begs the following, excellent questions:
Does Suarez understand how cameras work?— Jason Davis (@davisjsn)June 24, 2014
How’s he going to blame the English media this time? We’re all at another game.— Daniel Taylor (@DTguardian)June 24, 2014
I ask this with full knowledge no one knows the answer: what the heck goes on in Suarez’s head to make him think that’s OK?— Andrew Das (@AndrewDasNYT)June 24, 2014
So how is Luis Suarez’s heartwarming redemption story going?— Graham Ruthven (@grahamruthven)June 24, 2014
If only these vendors had told Suarez this before the game:— SNICKERS® (@SNICKERS)June 24, 2014
Hola @luis16suarez, si te quedaste con hambre vení a darle un mordisco a una BigMac ;)— McDonald’s Uruguay (@McDonalds_Uy)June 24, 2014
In Suarez’s defense…
To be fair to Luis Suarez, I can’t resist an Italian sub either.— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono)June 24, 2014
— Paddy Power (@paddypower)June 24, 2014